Even if at first glance the following seems trite or simplistic, we believe that, no matter how many books you read or sermons
you hear, or how much time and money you spend, you will get no better advice. Try it, continue to apply it, and feel your life improve.
It's free, risk-free, deeply satisfying and simple.
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Without further ado, here it is!
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REMOVE HOSTILITY FROM YOURSELF
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It is the wisdom of the ages, the real kernel of the major religions and excellent for your physical, mental and social health.
Oh yes, and if you do it people will find you even more likeable, and be happier to help you.
Now, are you afraid that removing your hostilities will expose you to danger from others, and open the door to abuse?
You need not be, because anything you do with hostility can be done better without it !
Some examples:
- You can still shut your door to strangers or anyone else without feeling hostile to them.
- You need not be hostile to children to prevent them doing harm.
- You need not be hostile to your dog to prevent it jumping at strangers.
- You can argue and even fight with someone without needing to feel hostile to them; in fact, hostility will cloud
your judgement and effectiveness. This applies even to warfare (shudder), despite action being called 'hostilities'.
- Professional fighters and sportspeople are rarely if ever genuinely hostile to their opponents, but accord them
any respect they may rightfully deserve. 'The play's the thing'- Shakespeare.
- You can be critical of someone's behaviour without being hostile to them. Criticise the problem, never the person.
'Play the game, not the man.'
Some, like Plato and later Jesus, held that only ignorance
makes people behave badly. 'Forgive them, for they know not what they do.' Apart from this, we should never forget that often people
are rude or nasty because things are not well with them - they may be ill or bereaved or beleaguered - and we may never know. Everyone wants
to be happy.
- You don't need to be aggressive to be assertive. Assertiveness plus hostility equals aggressiveness.
In other words, you can still exercise your judgement and protect yourself and others and things without any hostility.
You certainly don't need to go out and actively try to love everyone (or anyone!), but simply remove hostility from yourself !
Anything more follows automatically and genuinely and authentically.
Never, ever, forget that this also includes you! Don't be hostile to yourself!
Hostility towards others and yourself poisons your life, and greatly limits your opportunities.
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Feeling down, unloved, lonely, tense, dread?
Treat yourself with a smile - force it, hold it, repeat it - you will instantly feel better! Do it now!
You may wish to add the following powerful rider: say to yourself about what is bugging you -
"These things do not move me ( from my true self )".
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'So how do I remove hostility from myself?'
It couldn't be easier! Watch yourself. Whenever you catch yourself feeling hostile, just tell yourself:
'Don't be hostile!'.
And to insure against becoming hostile, you can repeatedly affirm to yourself:
'I am not a hostile person - I am loving and loveable'.
In fact, merely thinking about removing hostility from yourself makes you feel less hostile, just as thinking about or observing
acts of altruism, without even performing them, boosts happiness and even strengthens one's immune system!
You may frustratedly be waiting in a line, held up in traffic, trying to get through a crowd, dealing with inconsiderate people,
watching TV news, trying to endure noisy neighbours . . . the possibilities are endless! We each feel our own hostilities in our own ways
at our own times.
At first, you may be surprised and shocked at how often you catch yourself feeling hostile, but soon you will be glad to correct yourself
because doing so makes you feel much better, others seem to like you more, and a kind of 'magic' enhances your life.
Part of the magic is that your non-hostile 'aura' will precede your arrival - often perfect strangers will greet you as almost a long-lost
friend. The more you practise it, the more magic of all kinds you will experience.
And you will need to continue to do it, at least until you attain 'nirvana'!
And remember, don't be hostile at yourself - even for being hostile!
If even this is too much effort for some, they will just have to learn the hard way!
An excellent opportunity to rid yourself of hostility is when going to sleep. As you doze off, smile and say to yourself repeatedly:
"I am not a hostile person - I am loving and loveable".
Breathe easily and regularly as you do so.
Why not improve your life easily while sending yourself off into a relaxed sleep? Could it be simpler or better?
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How and Why it works
The reason is very simply that all things are connected, so being hostile creates a hostile environment for yourself to live in,
and you just 'shoot yourself in the foot' by setting your hostile sights on others. (And notice that keeping up your defences doesn't stop
your fears!)
But, by removing hostility from yourself, you help create a non-hostile environment for those around you and therefore for yourself -
'smile, and the world smiles with you'.
Remove hostility from yourself, and you remove yourself from hostility.
Compassionate understanding helps remove hostility - it is wise to remember that, despite appearances, everyone is learning and muddling
through their own lives and those of others. The number of forces interacting at any time is incomprehensibly vast, and what you want now
may not currently suit others or Nature.
But you can stop throwing obstacles, such as hostility, in your own path. That is how you 'change the world'. Only you can
change your attitudes.
Finally, as they say in the ads: 'But don't just take our word for it - try it for yourself ! '. . .
[ See also:
Overcoming Anger ]
But wait ! . . . There's more ! . . .
Four little anti-ageing words
Stress hastens ageing and death - it simply cripples and kills the body's cells. It causes disease by weakening the immune system.
But how can we avoid stressful situations?
Often we can't - but we can greatly reduce our stress in any situation. We need merely repeat to ourselves:
"I am not stressed".
Our subconscious mind takes this completely at face value and primes our mind/body accordingly. This is how all affirmations work, and
there is probably none more useful and directly effective than this deceptively simple one!
Enthusiasm and The Meaning of Life
One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to lose their enthusiasm for life. This can creep up insidiously, and it seems
that men as they age are especially prone to it, although it can start at a very early age. Don't let it happen to you! Let yourself be
genuinely enthusiastic - don't become a cynical, boring (to yourself and to others) grump!
Now, we don't want to get all religious, but we admire Jesus as a philosopher and psychologist, and find his sayings:
"Unless you become as little children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven" and
"The Kingdom of Heaven is within you" very telling. Don't kill the child within you! As Wordsworth wrote: "The child is
father of the man": to deny the child within you is to deny yourself.
There is a wonderful saying: "People stop playing not because they grow old - they grow old because they stop playing".
And now to the meaning of life: have you ever had a dream in which the meaning of life was revealed to you, but awoke to find you
could not remember it? Does the following seem familiar?
- To seek the meaning of life is to seek to love life.
- The more you love life, the more meaning it has for you.
- The less you love life, the less meaning it has for you.
- That is the meaning of life.
- "Love life, and life will love you."
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